So this is that time of year when we are scurrying around the malls or the internet looking for tangible ways to say Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad or Kareem Ramadan. This is so much more than gift-giving time, so much more than fruitcake, bacalao, Persian halva and so much more than Happy Hallmark. If that fulfills a part of you, have at it, but don't leave out the opportunity for giving gratitude - at this time of the year. At all times of the year.
Make your life and the lives of all people in your world happier by saying "Thank you." That phrase is not used as often as it could be. It is always appropriate and beats the heck out of wrapping paper, cards and ribbons. Instead of the glitter, say "Thank you" instead. Toward that end, I will, with the help of James Clear, author of Atomic Habits, highlight 7 times when many of us forget to express thanks.
1. Say "Thank you" when someone compliments you. When you don't accept praise, it appears that you are insulting the person who was nice enough to notice your strength. If you simply decline the compliment, it is as though you are telling the person that his taste is faulty. Instead, acknowledge the individual so that you can both enjoy that moment.
2. Say "Thank you" when you are running late. Don't say "Sorry I am late." Instead say, "Thank you for waiting." Being tardy is not about you. It is about the person you have inconvenienced. Expressing your gratitude lets the person who had been waiting know that you recognize your error.
3. Say "Thank you" when you offer comfort. You are expressing gratitude that someone else trusts you with personal pain. Expressing your appreciation lets people know that you are there to provide support. Even my massage therapist says "Thank you" to me when my treatment is complete.
4. Say "Thank you" when someone gives you negative feedback. Instead of being defensive, try saying something like, "Thank you for sharing your thoughts." I have noticed that when I express negative feeling about the way I was treated in some retail situations, a supervisor will generally tell me that I have assisted with a company's commitment to provide good service.
5. Say "Thank you" when someone criticizes you unfairly. This tends to immediately neutralize the situation. This shows that you welcome feedback and are ready to learn. Remember, when you want to behave maturely, you don't have to win an argument. Win by the way you live - not by what you say.
6. Say "Thank you" when someone gives you advice which you didn't request. Don't find fault with the person who points out your error. Instead, try "Thank you for your help/"
7. Say "Thank you" when you are not sure if you should say it. There is no such thing as too much gratitude.
Enjoy this holiday season and thank you for reading my blog.