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CHANGES - FIVE DIFFERENCES YOU CAN MAKE TO WELCOME A NEW YOU

THESE RECENT YEARS HAVE BEEN CHARACTERIZED BY MANY DIFFERENCES, MOST OF US HAVE BEEN AFFECTED BY DIFFERENCES IN OUR JOBS, OUR INCOMES, OUR HEALTH, OUR DAILEY ROUTINES, OUR RELATIONSHIPS AND NEW PRIORITIES. "MOST AMERICANS WILL EXPERIENCE THREE TO FIVE LIFE ALTERING DISRUPTIONS." (BRUCE FEILER) IN MY OFFICE, PEOPLE TELL ME THAT THEY ARE WAITING FOR THINGS TO "GET BACK TO NORMAL" EVEN THOUGH THEY KNOW THAT THE PREVIOUS "NORMAL" IS NOT LIKELY TO BE REPEATED.
WE ALL HAVE TO LEARN TO IMPROVE OUR ABILITY TO MANAGE THE BIG CHANGES IN OUR LIVES WHEN PARTS OF YOUR PREVIOUS LIFE ARE NO LONGER SERVING YOU. FEILER HAS SUGGESTED THE FOLLOWING FIVE:

1. ACCEPT THAT THERE HAS BEEN A CHANGE AND ACCEPT THAT YOUR EMOTIONS WILL BE DIFFERENT WITH ALTERNATING CIRCUMSTANCES, DO NOT TRY TO PUSH FEELINGS ASIDE THAT ARE NOT USUAL. EMOTIONAL CHANGES CAN INVOLVE FEAR, SADNESS, SHAME, GUILT OR ANGER.....FOR STARTERS. KNOW THAT WRITING A JOURNAL ABOUT YOUR CHANGING EMOTIONS CAN BE VERY HELPFUL

2, FIND A REGIMEN TO MEMORIALIZE THE CHANGE IN YOUR LIFE. THIS COULD BE ANYTHING FROM USING A DIFFERENT PEN. TO NEW PHOTOGRAPHS ON THE WALL. TO A FRESHLY PLANTED TREE OR TO A CHANGE IN YOUR FURNITURE ARRANGEMENT. THESE RITUALS CAN HIGHLIGHT NEGATIVE AS WELL AS POSITIVE EVENTS THAT ARE NOW DIFFERENT. AS YOU SET ASIDE OLD BEHAVIORS AND FEELINGS, YOU MAKE ROOM FOR NEW WAYS OF EXPERIENCING YOUR LIFE.

3. TELL PEOPLE WHAT KIND OF SUPPORT YOU WANT AND NEED. SOME OF US WORK BETTER WITH SYMPATHY. OTHERS COPE WITH CHANGES IN OUR LIVES WITH FIRM RULES AND CLEAR CUT EXPECTATIONS. STILL OTHERS ARE ABLE TO CHANGE THEIR FUNCTIONING MORE EFFICIENTLY AFTER THE ABOMINABLE "KICK IN THE ASS." LOOK AT YOUR HISTORY. LOOK AT YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. LOOK AT YOUR GOALS. LOOK IN THE MIRROR. OPEN YOUR MOUTH AND TELL THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WHAT YOU NEED AND, REMEMBER,,,THERE ARE NO WRONG ANSWERS.


4. RECOGNIZE THAT YOU WILL EVENTUALLY BEGIN TO FEEL A NEW KIND OF "NORMAL." HAVE A "COMING OUT PARTY" SO THAT YOU CAN SHARE YOUR NEW SELF WITH OTHERS, ONE EXAMPLE COULD BE TO SHOW OFF YOUR HOUSE. YOU MAY ALSO WANT TO LET PEOPLE KNOW THAT YOU ARE READY TO DATE AGAIN. PUT A NEW NOTICE ON LINKEDIN. VOLUNTEER YOUR TIME TO HELP OTHERS IN NEED.


5. DON'T DWELL ON THE WAY YOU USED TO BE. FOCUS ON THE NEW YOU, THE TOP OF YOUR MOUNTAIN AND THE OTHERS WHO HELPED YOU TO GET THERE.

"ONE OF THE GREATEST DISCOVERIES OF ALL TIME IS THAT A PERSON CAN CHANGE HIS FUTURE MERELY BY CHANGING HIS ATTITUDE,"

OPRAH

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