HOW TO DESTROY YOUR MARRIAGE

Some of the things that can spoil your marriage are so small that one spouse is totally confused about why the other one is so upset. Currently, there is a spike in divorce. There are many lawyers who have suggested that, due to Covid 19, couples are spending much more time together because they are sheltered in place and often have increased financial challenges. Watch out for things that can crash your marital relationship. I will list 4 things that can stress your sacraments:

  1. Mistakes that were made a long time ago but continue to be the focus of bad feelings. A wife I was treating had asked her husband to miss a business trip because she felt sick. She wanted him to stay home and take care of her. Her husband went on the business trip anyway......8 years ago. At that time, she decided that he no longer cared for her and she continues to look for evidence that he doesn't care for her as much as he should. She continues to look for things that support her belief that her husband is inattentive. So, what should the husband do? Believe it or not, the husband should apologize Even if he does not feel that the accusations are realistic, he should tell his wife that he is sorry for the sake of their relationship. His wife believes that it is true and it is important that the cycle of blame and defensiveness be discontinued. You may think that this is unfair. And it is. But if you are the one who is accused of something you had no intention of doing, would you rather be right or be happy? 
  2. Pay attention to what makes your partner feel loved. The things that make your spouse feel loved are not necessarily the same things that make you feel loved. This may sometimes reflect the differences between men and women. Women often feel loved after a "deep, meaningful conversation while men may feel more loved after a great sexual experience. When partners speak different "love languages," it can leave both of them feeling unloved. What to do: remain open to the probability that what makes you feel loved is different than what makes your spouse feel loved. If you are unsure, just ask 
  3. You may want to feel that you and your spouse agree on everything. This kind of thinking is unrealistic. If you feel that total agreement is necessary, you will see that inevitable disagreements are serious problems that may mean you are not right for each other What to do: Accept the fact that you and your spouse may have different opinions. These differences are neither right nor wrong. They are merely different. 
  4. "I love you, but, I am no longer in love with you." This simply can mean that the "spark" is gone. You are no longer your partner's primary focus. I learned a long time ago that there is nothing like the beginning of a love affair. What to do: Remember your earlier passion and the things that you used to do together that kept that passion alive. Were they special meals? Long walks? Talks about art? Joint movie enjoyment? Do those things again. Have your weekly date. Don't allow yourselves to become so busy that you believe that these earlier romantic experiences will just happen naturally. Make sure that you and your spouse never keep score. It doesn't matter who came up with what idea. Do recognize that your feelings of distance are perfectly normal. Enjoy the significance of routine and responsibility.

Long term love only requires acceptance, honesty and commitment.

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