Now that you have made a decision that some counseling may be helpful to you, let's make sure that you can do this in a way that will help you get the most out of it. Therapy can be a changing experience in your life as it helps you to discuss troublesome things in a safe way.
1. See the right therapist for symptoms you are ready to identify and discuss. Are you nervous? Are you fighting with someone? Are you very sad? Have you had a trauma that you can no longer ignore? Look for a therapist who has special training in your problem areas. By all means, call and ask about a therapist's training, experience and methods of practice. You wouldn't buy a car without asking what features will be included. Your personal issues are far more important than a car.
2. Think about whether you may prefer a a male or a female therapist. If your issues are with a female, a male therapist might possibly be best for you. Likewise, if your problems are with a male, it is possible, but not necessarily so, that you might feel more comfortable with a female therapist. If your concerns are not gender targeted, the sex of your therapist may be unimportant. Feeling safe and at ease is the most significant issue for your growth.
3. Call various therapists and ask for a brief telephone interview so that you can sense whether or not you are likely to have a good fit. There should be no charge to you for this phone call. After talking to a few potential therapists on the telephone, trust your gut. When you do go to see the therapist of your choice, give the process at least 3-4 sessions before you make a more long term treatment plan. Make sure that your relationship with your therapist feels safe and comfortable. This doesn't mean, of course, that this you will never feel angry or misunderstood. The important thing is that you will feel able to discuss and address these these reactions.
4. When you get to your session, arrive early so that you can really think about what you want to say. Remember, you are in charge of your session. It is your time and your investment.
5. Keep in mind that your therapist should be a good listener, but, your counselor is not a magician. A good therapist will help you clarify your concerns and will help you identify your choices about how to deal with them, but, you will not be sent out of the office with a guaranteed to-do list that will leave you feeling immediately satisfied. Your therapist may give you "homework" so that you can think more about dealing with your issues productively and the benefits or detriments of choices you make. Do remember that you can discuss anything with your counselor. Your time is private, safe and it is unlikely that you have any bothersome matters that your therapist has not heard several times before. Do know, however, that your therapist is a legally "mandated reporter"; If you discuss serious intentions of harming yourself or others, these things must be reported.
6. I often advise clients not to discuss their therapy issues outside of the therapy session. This can leave patients with the feeling that "I've already dealt with that" when, in fact, many things should involve the mutual support and trust you have with your counselor.
7. Pick a good time for your meetings. Try to avoid squeezing your appointment between other significant responsibilities. You will then be better able to cope with the intensity of your therapeutic work. You will want an appointment plan that will give you time to cool down by going for a walk or writing in your journal before heading on to another obligation.
8. Business first: Handle issues like fees, insurance reimbursement and scheduling at the beginning, rather than after, an emotional hour or more. And do make sure that if you need extra understanding or cool down time at the end of your interview, it will be available for you. The old fashioned "50 minute hour" should no longer exist.
9. If homework is assigned, do it. Remember that your counseling is limited to the office, but, the process can, and should be, with you for significant periods of time when you are not "in therapy."
10. Ask yourself if therapy is working for you. If it is, you will internalize your therapist. For example, when things go wrong outside of your sessions, you will find that you are asking yourself the same questions that are similar to what your therapist generally asks you. Also, you will think or say that
"I've never told anybody about this before." This will mean that you feel a sense of trust that your counseling can be a positive and changing experience in your life. Your therapy should be a safe place to talk about tough things.
"I've never told anybody about this before." This will mean that you feel a sense of trust that your counseling can be a positive and changing experience in your life. Your therapy should be a safe place to talk about tough things.
Do enjoy the experience of therapy. It can be like "taking a course where you ae the topic. Enjoy the journey and soak in every tidbit that you can because you never know when it might come in handy." (Margarita Tatakovsky, M.S.)