ADULT BULLYING

I have studied the ways in which children bully each other and have given several presentations related to this subject. With increasing awareness, I see the feelings of intimidation and sadness related to victimization by adult bullies as well. I am treating adults who get bullied and I help them to overcome their stress, depression, loss of confidence, a poor sleep and fears of job loss.
It is important for you to remember that someone who maliciously teases you by bullying is already beneath you. Know that the disrespectful behavior is all about the bully and not about you.
Three ways to cope with an adult bully:

1. Warn yourself that a bully is near you. Tell yourself that the bully is going to try to upset you and that you do not have to let it happen. When you know that the bullying is likely to begin, you can just tell yourself something like, "Here he goes again..."
2. Pause and then make eye contact with the bully. Initially say nothing. Just stare steadily. Get a confused look on your face and eventually utter something like, "You have got to be kidding."
3. Calmly state something like, "I really didn't hear you. Say that again please." You are indicating that the bullies speech is really unimportant to you. Finally, make the bully appear to be silly by asking, "Do you really believe that what you just said is true? Really?"
The bully is trying to get you to feel upset. Try the above hints a few times and the bully will give up and get lost.


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