THE ELEPHANT IN THE LIVING ROOM

Being abused does not always mean being slapped, kicked or punched. It can also involve emotional abuse which can be every bit as painful - if not more so. Emotional abuse is often not recognized. Among other things, it may involve:

1. Gaslighting: an attempt to convince one that what is seen or experienced did not really happen. "What you remember is not actual. You just think so because you are crazy."

2. "I love you, but..." My love will be gone if you don't do things my way.
3. "Your partner will "throw you a bone." You may receive a gift or be taken out to
dinner at a nice restaurant. These will be efforts to encourage you to stop
complaining. The efforts will generally be accompanied by sincere sounding
apologies.
Check the following list of common abuse tactics published at yourtango.com by Marni Feuerman:

1. Your partner will take pleasure in humiliating you.
2. You will be subjected to extreme criticism.
3. Interpersonal communication will be markedly decreased.
4. You may be excluded from activities that have previously included you.
5. Your relationship will now be marred by affairs.
6. Your partner may flirt with others in your presence.
7. Your "friend" may often speak sarcastically.
8. Your relationship will be characterized by excessive jealousy.
9. Your partner will become extremely moody.
10. Your mate will take pleasure in making fun of you.
11. Your mate may try to dominate you.
12. Your lover will claim that things that go wrong in your relationship are
all your fault.
13. You will be isolated.
14. You will be deprived of money.
15. Your pal may blow up your phone with excessive email and texts.
16. Your partner may threaten suicide to manipulate you to behave differently.

Remember that abusive people do not tend to change. If you believe you are in
an abusive relationship, get out now!