It is not unusual for you to recognize that a dear friend or someone in your family is preoccupied with worry and depression. If any family member has previously attempted suicide, your concern about the possibility that this may occur again is realistic and your own sense of helplessness and distress will be real for you.
How to help when you fear that help is impossible.
1. Ask your loved one is he/she may be considering suicide. So many people will avoid asking the "S" question "so I don't put any ideas in his head." This is unrealistic. More than one patient has told me that "I wouldn't have acted like this is some folks had just acted like they noticed and they cared."
2. Notice is someone has significant life changes like serious financial problems, loss of a job, a death in the family.
3. Check out whether a previously friendly person has become withdrawn.
4. Does it appear that a previously depressed person is now acting happy and at peace. This could indicate an attempt to "put one's affairs in order."
5. Get the depressed person to a therapist or psychiatrist. Do this even if a court order is necessary to make it happen.
6. Help the one about whom you are concerned to discuss the factors that are the most troubling.
7. Promote communication with many family members to discuss possible sadness, hurt or anger.
8. Ask if the troubled person is taking all earlier prescribed medication.
9. Help people to express feelings of grief and do express your understanding.
10. Encourage the downtrodden person to review problem solving techniques that have worked in the past and help to review past successes. Help the troubled person to recognize the things he says to himself that tend to increase depression. Explain that self defeating thoughts will increase feelings of worthlessness.
11. Encourage normal eating and sleeping patterns.
12. Talk about the importance of exercise.
13. Help to talk about positive and hopeful things in addition to the stress and sadness. Share the importance of keeping a gratitude journal.
14. Assist with exploration of spiritual beliefs.
15. Continue to discuss suicidal thoughts while consistently encouraging openness and honesty.
Contact me at any time with your questions about these concerns.