This is the age of abuse - by fanatic individuals, by groups, by counties. If you turn on any television news station, you won't have to wait more than 30 minutes before a reporter will be sharing the details about a person, family or a group that has been affected by malicious abuse. Today's discussion will focus on the abuse of one person by another. Please don't assume that I am only applying my concerns to female victims of male perpetrators. Men are victims of abuse too.
If you are a victim of abuse, you are likely to feel humiliated, You also probably have injuries in various stages of healing and your explanations for these injuries seem to be invalid or erroneous. You are also most likely suffering from depression. You probably have difficulty sleeping and may be suffering with nightmares and anxiety. You don't initially discuss your wounds in other than superficial ways. You may speak of vague physical complaints. It is probable that you feel dependent on the person who is abusing you. Your offender may have a history of substance abuse and may be trying to make decisions about what you wear, whom you see and what you do.
It is important that you get therapeutic and medical help. A good counselor can help you with this effort and help you to discuss your rights to safety and legal assistance.
There is substantial information available to you about shelters. You can also be educated about police reports and restraining orders. You can learn about the "cycle of violence" and how it affects both you and your children.
Victims may think that the abuse is their fault in spite of the fact that they have no responsibility for it.
It is important to develop a safety plan with a counselor who has experience in this area so that you can feel less helpless and less fearful.
As your feelings of dependency decrease, you will learn how to express your feelings of anger. You will now be able to understand that your feelings of fear and guilt are related to your earlier experiences of abuse and your previous acceptance of responsibility.
You can learn to identify immediate threats together with medical, legal, community and social sources of help.
Do not forget that males are victims of abuse as well as well as females. If you are a man who is an abuse victim, you are not alone. If you are a man who feels threatened, discuss it. Describe it. Report it. You, too, can be helped to recognize your resources.
If you want to discuss this blog, feel free to call me at 256/431-5060. You can also email me at [email protected]