We have heard about the recent deaths by suicide of several famous people. - Anthony Bourdaine, Robin Williams, Kate Spade and others. We wonder how such successful, accomplished and wealthy people choose suicide. It seems paradoxical that such superficially happy people choose to end their lives. How can they be depressed enough to kill themselves in a sudden, unexpected way? We don't often know the answer to this one. When someone ends his (her) life, it may be at a time when there is an appearance of happiness and a relaxed ability to enjoy life. Yet, more than a hundred of these "contented" people commit suicide every day. Some give hints. Some do not. Some common clues may involve :
Discussions of suicide
Collecting tools to assist - like guns medications, knives
Appearing to feel some sense of hopelessness
A sense of shame
Feelings of guilt
The giving away of important possessions
Taking the time to say goodbye to others when no parting is planned
The person who committed suicide was suffering and, now, the suicide survivors are suffering too. They often don't know what to do. Some suggestions include:
Seeking professional help to explore unfinished business about relationship issues.
It is difficult to know what to say to a suicide survivor. Above all, express your concern.
Do not use shallow, overworked phrases like, "Things will get better...," or "At least his suffering is over."
Just share memories and stories and always use the person's name.
Do not ask specific questions like "Was there a note?" Instead ask general things like, "Would you like to talk about what happened?"
Do not ask things like "Is there anything I can do for you?" Just do it. Go to the grocery store. Make a meal. Just be in the same room and listen.
I would give so much not to have to write this blog, but, it has to be said. It has to be written. It has to be read. Please remember that if you have concerns, please reach out to me at (256) 431-5060. I am here to listen. I am here to understand. I am here to help 24/7.