I Dont Know What To Say Syndrome

I have had a number of clients come to see me for counseling or therapy who begin a first session by saying some version of "I think I need to be here, but, I don't know why...Maybe coming to see you is a mistake."

Now what?

Clients may begin to describe their lives in general but don't really understand why they want help. "I just need to talk about stuff. I can't say certain things to my friends or my parents." It eventually becomes clear that there are people who need a safe place to talk about hard things. As people begin to unload, it is frequently obvious to me that there is no mental illness involved. Reports of distress are discussed along with a general feeling that life is hard.

Feelings of tension and sadness are often described. These are normal experiences, but, when one's sense of discomfort is frequent, or when disturbing feelings are super-sized, it may very well be time to come in and talk so that we can see what can be done to alleviate the unease or concerns about malaise.

It is alright to talk about things like strain and tension, a general sense of unhappiness, relationship problems or occupational difficulties. None of this means that you are mentally ill. It just indicates that you feel a need to talk in a private and safe environment.

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