Mitch Albom is one of my favorite sensitive authors. He has spoken about memory as a personal partner after loss, and he has specifically explained that "Death ends a life but it does not end a relationship." I agree with his recognition that life has to end, but, love is how we stay alive after a death, a divorce or a finale of any kind.
So now that it's over, whatever "it" is, it is alright to begin a search for more companionship, more friendship, more closeness, more intimacy and more love.
For many reasons, our families and friends do not always share our passion for passion. Widows, or those who have been divorced and are beginning to date, are often considered disloyal. Instead of being thought of as a loving friend, a responsible parent or having been a devoted spouse, the widow or divorcee may be considered evil, ugly, depraved and shameful by parents, aunts, uncles and children. Remember, however, that the perceptions of others do not define who you are.
You can still remain optimistic about finding a healthy relationship, especially if you understand what went wrong in your previous relationship and what you might have done to make it better.
Explore your past social history to see if you keep dating the same kind of person in relationships that end in disaster. If you explore this task seriously, you may not keep choosing the wrong kind of people.
Do make a list of the things that bring you joy and surround yourself with groups of people who are likely to share your interests.
Don't expect to feel passion immediately.
When "chemistry" comes too fast, it is likely to fizzle just as quickly. Give chemistry a chance to develop. This may take several dates. Be patient.
You may want to consider looking for new friend on line with the cautions of meeting in groups in public places. I am also a big fan of background checks that are in everyone's best interests.
Enjoy your cautious search. I will end this blog as I began it...with a tribute to Mitch Albom who reminded us that "All endings are also beginnings... and that we don't quit playing because we grow old. We grow old because we quit playing"