Child Sexual Abuse

As has been perpetual, reports of child sexual abuse remain in the news. This affects all of us and all of the children in our care. It is important for you to recognize that the perpetrators do not have the stereotypical images that many may suspect. They are not necessarily scruffy looking, unshaven men in dark raincoats. They may be exceptionally well groomed men in business suits, physicians/dentists in white lab coats, priests, pastors, rabbis, teachers as well as spiffed up workers or neighbors. You cannot know what someone is like only by appearance.

The freaks who perform these abusive acts often "fall through the cracks" because they do not mirror the false ideas that people have about their appearance and behaviors. I want to describe what behaviors may be involved to qualify these monsters as child sexual abusers:

1. Exhibitionism of sexual body parts

2. Fondling

3. Intercourse

4. Masturbation in the presence of a child

5. Sexual talk with a child over the telephone

6. Sexual text messages to a child

7. Having a collection of articles or pictures of child pornography

8. Sexual action of any kind which involves children

9. Behavior with a child that leads to sexual satisfaction on behalf of the victimizer.

In general, children with be coached to keep sexual abuse a secret. They are frequently threatened about possible consequences of revealing the truth. The childhood victims I have treated have been told that someone else in the family will be likewise abused or that a loved one will be killed. Some of the children I have treated have been told that admitting the abuse will result in the death of a family pet. Children are also told they they will be blamed for the shameful behaviors reported. Many children, therefore, are reluctant to report what has occurred.

What symptoms might you expect to find in a child who has been a victim of sexual abuse.

1. Behavioral changes

2. Withdrawal from others

3. Reluctance to go to a gym class where locker room clothes changes may be involved

4. Nightmares or night terrors

5. Eating problems

6. Bed wetting or others regressive behaviors

7. Injuries that are not well explained

8. Fear of being with a particular person

9. Interests is sexually related materials

10. Frequent urinary tract infections

So what can you do to protect your children from attack?

1. Never leave your children alone with anyone whom you do not know extremely well.

2. Educate your children about the differences between "good touch" and " "bad touch."

3. Encourage the reporting of any uncomfortable behavior to a trusted adult. 4. Use "nanny cams" in your home for use during your absence.

5. Trust your own gut if you suspect that a crime has taken place and report your concerns to a therapist and to the police department.

There are other available means of possible support. While I do not supervise the sources below, and therefore cannot always shore up their total findings, they have been helpful to others and their availability can be assessed by your own intuition:

National Violence Hotline: 1-800- 4-A Child

Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800- 799-7233

Child Protective Services: 1, 800 422-4453

Please feel free to contact me for concerns you may have in this area.

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